Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Taste on Tuesday

OK. For the love of Jesus, Mary & Joseph, would someone tell me how to make a delicious cup of coffee at home? It is absolutely laughable how many contraptions I have purchased to make it taste good when I make it (as opposed to going to Starbucks for my white chocolate mocha). Each and every one of those contraptions has had one result: SUCK. Here's what I've tried: (don't laugh)


The result: eh. Also: pain-in-the-ass. Also: hate reheated/microwaved coffee which is part of this process since this is a cold brewing process.


The French Press (b/c the coffee snobs of the world said I had to):

The result: OMG. the worst of the bunch. You can take your essential oils and stick 'em up your arse. Too bitter.


The french press in a mug thingy:
Result: Oh please. See review from above...only worse.

The french press in a pot thingy (to keep it hot all morning! yeah, right!):


Result: Oy vey. Suck.

The super lo-fi espresso percolator for your stove top:

Result: Stupid and sucky.

The espresso machine:
Result: Delicious cappucino, ridonculous amount of cleaning the thing for two cups of cappucino.


The Cuisinart Grind and Brew (my Dad is successful with this...why not me?)
Result: Suck and also: bitch to clean.

These have all gone into various garage sales or Goodwill piles.
And now, because of my Starbucks detox (which I have relapsed...by the way) I have this:
It's $25 from my local Kroger. It has one switch: ON/OFF. The result: SUCK.
What am I doing wrong? Why is my coffee too strong or too weak? Please! Someone tell me the exact measuring utensil, the exact brand of coffee, the exact grind, the exact measurement you use to make a good solid cup of delicious coffee. Because I'm about to sell my soul to Starbucks. Again.

5 comments:

Dedicated Thriftster said...

I'm in the same dilemma as you. I've came to conclusion it has to be the Starbucks cup not the coffeemaker, lol. If you discover the true secret, please pass it along!

The Pollards said...

I am all about the Keurig brewer - it is a single cup machine that uses K cups for a fresh cup every time. There are tons of different K cups (the caramel cream is my fave), and there is also a contraption that you can use so that you don't have to use the cups. I bought Angus a Keurig for Valentines years ago, and after a ton of use, it broke three years later. I had signed up to have Green Mountain coffee roasters send me K cups every couple months so that I got the good ones, and when I called to see what their prices were on brewers, they gave me a $100 machine for free. I highly recommend them, super highly.

Grubilicious said...

I have the Keurig too and LOVE it! Those K cups can get expensive, but they are sooo yummy. My fave is Hazelnut. Our machine was only $120.

Stacy Mc

Allison said...

Gevalia and I'll send you the little scoop everybody uses here. . . one scoop per cup ANY kind of machine you want.

DAMN good coffee everytime.

Clarissa said...

tonya swears by the $900 (or something ridonkulously expensive) machine she got at Starbucks. I have to say, i've had many a latte at her place and YUM. VERY expensive, though.
you know me, i swear by my Wendy's plastic spook (aka measuring spoon), a french press and flavored Dunkin Donuts coffee. im low-rent though...