Found this quote on a favorite blog this morning:
children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.- dr haim ginott
I wanted to blog the following tidbit the other day but forgot, and this reminded me that maybe I should. I have some wise souls reading this blog and I could use your advice.
The other day Lily and I were getting me ready in the bathroom. I usually don't put much, if any, makeup on these days (if I'm not going somewhere REAL). But this day, I opened the makeup drawer and put on the standard blush and mascara and some powder. If Lily asks to put on my makeup I always say yes. Sheye and Ava taught me that this is totally ok. She doesn't put on much, sort of just pretends - fluffs the brushes over her cheeks and tries sloppily to put lipstick on.
The other day, she was intent on putting on a LOT of lipstick. I told her, whoa!, you have way too much lipstick on (and she did.) She said back to me that she wanted to put a lot on so she could look a lot prettier. I was immediately saddened. Hated what I had just heard. She may not even know what she is saying, but somehow she already associates makeup with pretty. Of course I told her she is prettier without it, and finally convinced her to wipe it off before we saw any other human beings.
I make it a point to never knock myself in front of her, and never talk about make up making me prettier. Somehow, she still gets that message. Why? How?
And where do I go from here?
2 comments:
I'm sorry to say this, but I agree with LILY! The more lipstick I put on, the prettier I feel. Even if I look like a clown to others (especially up here in granola-no-makeup-land), I feel pretty! Maybe she sees you with lipstick and thinks "wow, my mama is H-O-T".
Sadly, I don't think we can shield children from the pretty=good mentality. It seems to creep in no matter what. Continue praising her smarts, humor, kindness, caring, etc. and the old 'forrest gump' idea of "pretty is as pretty does" and hope for the best. Not helpful, i know...
unfortunately, the message is everywhere Sara. . .I say, if at all possible ask her about things like this.. . have that dialogue and keep having it and make sure she knows you're always there and the dialogue is always open. IMO it's the best thing we can do.
Post a Comment